Oh my, that is a hard one to take. Prayers headed your way. There are times when we all let God down and we doubt and we are none perfect. But, thanks be to God, that through His Blood we are made perfect. Just remember, it is ok to ask "why", Jesus asked this very question from the Cross. But, there is a reason and in God's perfect will His plan will be done. We will pray for you during this very difficult time.